★ preparation ★

huhu~ convo day i s approaching
2day i wil go to take my convo grown
after that shopping with stephy pink
bbq plaza~~ yummy yummy!
buy a BLACk high heels
cut hair~~ new look!
buy the hair care... yeah!
this will cause me a lot of $$$
but no choice..
in life i just have one convo
so i hope i will have a wonderful convo
this will be a sweet memories for me

★operation ★

finally mum have decide to go for the operation
thank god
i just hope mum will not so suffer le..
she burn me, my bro and sis..
now is time to cut off the uterus
damn sad for it
the operation will be on thrusday 26 August 2010
hope mum will be okie soon
all will become better and better

★ heart broken ★

-Day 1-
waiting mum outside the hospital room
keep thinking on how my mum condition right now
really hope to be there will her
but the doctor there no allow me to stay inside
i wait for there for 2 hours..
from many people until no people
from no people to people
the feeling is worse..
i worry that i will lose her..
when seeing mum walking out
i feel so sad
i like can feel her pain
when back to the home...
she laid on the sofa painfully
after eat the medicine
she feel unwell and vomit out all the medicine
i really cant help her anything
keep praying to the gods that hope mum will be okie
that nite i really cant sleep
mum totally no slep at all..
because the stomach is so pain..
she so suffer..

-Day 2-
early in the morning
i fetch mum to the nearest clinic
because yesterday she vomit out the medicine
so that we scare the medicine are not suitable
then the doctor give us a letter to go to KMC in ALor Setar
we rush there quickly
i dun wan to lose any time
i just hope mum can faster recover
no pain anymore
the doctor there is nice
seeing mum so suffer with the stomach pain
quickly check her 1st
give her a "suntikan" to tahan sakit
mum just can release her pain after the treatment
after that have to go for CT scan
it cost RM400
after all the treatment
we refer back to the doctor
he tell us what is the reason mum feel so pain
health is important
i want mum to be healthy like usual
i will take care mum until healthy
hope operation can be done quickly

★ Emotional ★

i hate that her attitude..
i hate to see her face..
i hate the way she talk..
i hate her like look down on me..
i hate everything of her..
i m simpan $ to give her back...
i dun wan to own her..

♥ apa ni ♥

suling is super duper tired..
nobody understand me...
how suffer am i... who noe?
i just din show in my face..
doesn't mean i no care...
i m sad...
smile just a cover page..
life is so suck for me...
many burden in my shoulder..
until i doesn't noe how to count..
finding job, waiting for the call..........
this all become my daily activities...
until when i can get what i want
i need money...
not for fun or use else for useless thing
need it to help my family~~!
i m so useless!!
i am very very unhappy with the situation right now..
how to do?
just can have a better changes~!
i m try to pretend...
actually i m not that strong

♥ wuwu ♥

recently i really like to cry
when think that why the bank haven call me for 2nd interview
why why why?
the tear will straight away drop..
maybe i m too stress..
and i like to think so much..
what if i no get the call from the bank
what is my next plan?
i myself also dunno
seeing papa no work..
hearing mama everyday talk of $$$$
i really feel like~~~
i m sad actually....

♥ confusing ♥

day pass by day...
week pass by week..
i become more emo de..
i like lose of my direction..
why i m doing nothing right now?
what should i do?
who can help me?
how i cant get the job?
where is my soul?
feeling so "wu zhu"
god please help me~~!
i cannot keep like this ~.~

♥ new thought ♥

L.O.V.E is come from heart....
watch a HK drama name 谈情说案
total 25 episode
i use 2 days already finish watch lor..
if 10 mark is full mark, i give 9.5...
from this movie, i learn..
how to LOVE a person!~~
actually i really dunno what this love mean...
but at this moment i really know it...
when you love a person..
you will do everything to let he or she happy
and doesn't do anything that will hurt them......
life is so mysteries.. love also same..
one thing!
dun easy get angry...
this will only show out ur "stupiness"
in future time i will control it..
dun hope show off this goodness~!
haha :)

♥ what Am I doing ♥

what am i doing?
a damn good Question..
sleep, eat, watch TV...
that all...
is this is my destination?
izzit i will end my life like tis..
shit lo...
i feel bored of everything..
everyday repeat doing same thing..
waiting the call from the bank
and hope get the job...
but what am i waiting for..
they never give me a chance!
why??
i am degree holder ler..
is hard for me to find job ma?? >.<
why perlis no have job??
wuwu

♥ Shit ♥

today is the day that i wont forget in my life...
i never ever hate a person still hope it disappear in front of my eyes...
i really very angry + sad...
you want to take the hammer to knock my head
you want to kill me...
if i die also i will be the ghost to kill you too...
you are not my brother anymore...
from today onward i wont talk to that person anymore...
it is over my limit d...
i wont forgive you!

♥ News ♥

today receive a fren msg who work at AmBank
i ask her to ask her branch Manager whether m i short listed...
she said she haven ask yet cause it is so busy...
GOOD news for me since maybe branch Manager busy so...
maybe he no have time to call me...
i also ask her izzit have to wait for 2 week only? then will have answer le?
she siad it is depend one...
alamak!...
BAD news for me.....
maybe this coming week, forthcoming also wont receive call...
sad....wuwu!
i just can pray hard to hope will receive call soon...

♥ Graduation ♥

wahahahaha.....
suling will graduate soon...
hard work for 4 year...
finally....
August 21 Saturday 7.3oam
it cost RM498...
hope the day come soon
because...
i can see my frenz during that time..
waiting the day!

♥ Dispointed day ♥

so so so so so disappointed...
yesterday i really really fan and cant fall asleep
keep on thinking whether i will get the AmBank job or not?
i just hope to find a fren and share my sadness...
but my fren her give me a bad response...
ignore~ing me.. wuwu
is okie..! understand d..
face~ problem.. haha
maybe my fren she also have thing to do..
maybe i misunderstand her alr..
haha.... dun wan think tis lol...
2day all become okie d..
Smile back :>

♥ Stupid TM-net ♥

ish... geram-nya...
i already cut the line and streamxy since May..
WTH...!
now tell me that ur streamxy haven cut..
push all the wrong to me..
i already pay all the money already...
u haven cut is ur fault not my fault..
why i need to pay u for that...
shit....!
i ask:"the RM75 when u will give to me"
he said:"if there have the baki then i give to u"
my face straight away become black...
how good a person anger management also will angry la...
fuck**
damn TM-net!

♥ Interview ♥

day pass by day...
i already attend 4 interview already...
1st interview at KL for the MAYBANK customer services position
I also dunno why i will apply this jobs..
it is really out of my field...
I am accounting student and i should work at my areas..
2nd interview for the audit assistance...
1.6k only.... haha....
if my parent stay there then i will consider!
Besides....
KL is too far from my hometown...
and with the little salary...
i really cant survive there...
i have to give mum and dad money...
i have to pay my fren back the money...
i have to pay for the accomondation and living expenses..
wao... if no have 2.5k..better dun think about it...haha
if find job at Perlis...
at least i can save up a lot of money..
such as rental, water and electric bill....
yesterday i go for AMBANK interview as teller bank..
the interviewer said: "you are a degree holder, this position is not suitable for you"
apa ni? haixxxx....
study still degree also no people want hire me for the small position...
it is not fair...!
after the interview he said:"if you are short-listed, I will call you to have the second interview in Penang". He already mention "IF"... so mean maybe YES maybe NO...
final mean is I have to WAIT again! ........
Gods.....pls
give me a chance....
i really need a job...
i feel damn stress...
i already try my best

♥ My lappie ♥

my lappie is spoilt...
motherboard rosok d...
i just buy it on March...
just use 4 month...ish..
have to send to KILANG le lor...
i miss it so much..
hope to get it back soon ^^

♥ What If ♥

what if i din break someone heart?
what if lie is no exist?
what if tolerance have exist that time?
what if the bad temperature can be control that time?
what if.... what if... so many what if.....
if we know what will be happen tomorrow...
sure this all what if wont happen...
if you ask me have i feel regret in the past?
my answer is NO.
a super confidence answer.!
when u watch back what you have been done in the past..
you will feel that all is just a drama in your life...
you maybe acting different characteristic against different human..
you will feel what you did in the past is funny...
for example why need to angry someone for the small tiny thing..haha
in the coming 10 year maybe i see back this blog..
i will feel that what i m writing right now also just a funny scripts..haha

♥ Dream ♥

Dream?
What is my dream??
Chartered Accountant?
Auditor?
Tax Consultant?
I myself also confusing...
actually deeply in my heart..
I hope i can continue study my ACCA..
and can be the MIA member
and open a small accounting firm..
my dream now is far far away from me...
but what to do?
my family unable to support me to continue study..
I am very sad about this..
but I never blame my family...
this is fate!
but i keep telling myself that ..
the most important now is i get a job
save $ to continue study...
is okie...
it like a challenges...
never fall never know, after fall definitely know...
facing the struggle and be strong...
never give up and keep on moving...
this is moto of my life..
hope my dream will come true one day..

♥ JOB ♥

every moment, second, minute...
I am still waiting the call from the JOB...
Am I will get the job?
What if they din get my resume?
How if they forgetten to call me?
Why they din choose me?
The feeling of waiting is very suffer..
Life with no $ is damn !@#$%^&*()
I want JOB..
I just release that it is not easy to get a JOB...
keep wait and wait...
day pass by day...
I like wasting my time...
what to do...!

I ♥ The Moment

back to the hometown
in order word i m leaving KL..
the feeling is like i m lossing all my best frens..
i miss them so much in deepth of my heart..
miss the moment we spent together
♥ stay in the same house
♥ laugh together for the small thing
♥ eat together (breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper)
♥ diet together (jogging and swimming)
♥ watch movie and sing k together
♥ study together (stress together)
♥ play badminton together
♥ go and back Uni together
i really miss them..
when we can gather again?

hope to see you all soon..
stephy, yan ping and nyen...
you all are my best fren forever... ^^